Ladies and Gentlemen...A Thread about Nagging

Iam definitely going to be classed as a traitor to my gender here.
Whilst speaking on the phone with my guy, and he knew he was doing something I didn't approve of, and was expecting an immediate nagging response from me, I simply stated that "Hundreds of years of women nagging at men hasn't changed a thing, and I don't expect it to now."
Quite insightful off the cuff.
Ladies, stop wasting your breath.
If you want your guy to do something..tell him once, and tell him why.
If he forgets because he is busy, it's OK to remind him once, and only once.
If you want him to take out the garbage, and he doesn't...and you remind him..and he doesn't....by all means, you are not a useless tool with your hands painted on. Take it out for him. But not to the curb, mind you...the garage...
nicely placed on the drivers seat of his prized possession.
You want him to pick up his laundry? And for three days his boxers and socks sit on the floor beside the bed?
By all means ladies...pick it up for him, deposit it into a basket, and sit that basket beside the washing machine.DO NOT WASH IT. In a few days when he looks in his dresser and closet, and they are empty....he'll go looking in the laundry room and SURPRISE!
A red bow on the basket would be a nice touch.
I think you girls get the idea.
For some classic reading for the ladies..
marriage.about.com...

And for the guys..well..ladies you need to read this too. No wonder they don't listen. It's a testosterone conspiracy. A secret society of the lowest order.
ca.askmen.com...

On the topic of leaving the toilet seat up:
Ladies, you know men are creatures of habit, and usually have to do a "#2" at about the same time every day.
Monitor this closely.
About ten minutes before his usual time...go in the bathroom and remove the seat. YES! Practice doing this while he is not around, so you get both good at it, and fast.
When he goes to use the toilet, he will get the full effect of sitting on a cold rim and sliding into a bowl of cold water.
I call that trick..DUNKIN' DONUTS

On the topic of the toothpaste tube:
EVERY man should know that you squeeze from the bottom to the top. If they don't..I would seriously question their masculinity.

Or to try another tack ladies, perhaps YOU could try changing to adapt to HIM rather than constantly nagging or playing tricks to get him to do what you want.

e.g if his pants and socks have been sitting by the bed for 3 days ask yourself, "are they harming anyone lying there?, perhaps he likes them being there"

And on the toilet thing why should it be down to the man to have to move the seat to where he wants it? Aren't you also capable of lowering it down when you need it and then lifting it up after you've finished?

Remember its his place to live as much as yours. I mean, when was the last time he nagged you to not leave small empty decorative boxes lying around? When did he last have a go at you for wasting time watching E channel or Sex and the City?

Essentially what i'm trying to say ladies is just go with the flow because in a hundred years, who's gonna care?

AD you rock!

that is absolutly gorgeous what you wrote!!!!


i usually tried to affected my ex with my thoughts and ideas making him coming around and presenting me my ideas as his

laundry: never picked up any and after 3 weeks he asked me where his jeans used to be
"honey i guess next to the bed where you left them"

he he
than he was able to put them in the laundry basket


for tooth paste:
each has its own!
so they can treat their tooth paste as they want it, not my business

shopping grocerys:
he refused to do so - we both worked together
and complained i would buy only useless stuff

ha
than i only bought stuff my son and i needed
so then we ate pasta with spinache - ex hated hat
we got the diapers for the little one
etc.

lovely absolutly lovely

i once read a book about parenting
but than i realized it wasn.t only about parenting but about relationship in general

lunch box forgotten in the bagpack - no lunch tomorrow
jeans not in the laundry box - no clean jeans!
very easy

for the toilett seat:
he can use the toilett aswell seated like me or any other girl
otherwise i refuse to clean the toilett!

i am not the one who is doing all the cleaning and removing the dirt
both working both cleaning
simple as math!



[edit on 9-10-2008 by orange-light]

Islam has no place for you accessdenied!

Seriously though, nagging doesn't work, you're right. The methods you described work very well.

Balls,we have to lift the bloody toilet seat up,if you can't manage the simple task of putting it back down again,without getting yer v*g all bent out of shape,then that ain't mens fault.
years ago,I had the idea of a toilet seat crossed with a pedel bin. I never followed it up,and a few years later,some other dude did.


The rest of your post I agree with,there's no point nagging at men,cos we ain't listening. The millisecond someone starts to nag at me,I switch off and listen to the birdies singing in my head.

It's why I'm a bender i reckon,cos I just can't handle the nagging of women. (I know not ALL women nag,and yes I know I have a rather limited experience.) But nearly everyone I know has this trouble. 1 guy I know even killed himself over it. (I know you won't mind me bringing this up mate,it's for a good cause)

My way of nagging works good do not tell Zap I have yet to use it on him. Because he does what I ask him to do. But I always ask the guy to do something then ask him again. If it does not get done I do it myself. No use in nagging about it. But I do drop those hints on how hard it was for me to do it. If you do it right you guy will never forget to do it again. Make the guy feel like you really need his help. We all know we don't. But it always makes a guy feel good that his woman needs.

I am very sweet up to a point. But Zap is one of those sweet guys he wants to make me happy. If I want him to clean or whatever he will do it. But do not take for granted those times. If you do not show praise in what they do they will not do it again. I love him and never ask him to do much. He is working now and I am not so I do all the housework. The only thing I ask him is to take the trash out.

If you ask my husband to take out the trash you'd think that I was asking him to build a six bedroom house from the bottom up in nine hours. UG! He'll spout off every other thing that he's done in the course of his entire life and everything I haven't done.........so yeah, I just do it myself. You should hear him if I ask him to change the lightbulb.

Don't get me wrong, he still does alot.....uh, some things...but only if he thinks of it and it is on his timing, so yeah, I just do it myself.

And usually I don't mind, I'm a stay at home mom so most of this stuff is my responsibility. Plus, I feel good getting three hours worth of work done before he even gets out of bed...yeah, right.

What I don't like is just plain disrespect. I have to clean the toilets, that's gross enough in itself, I shouldn't have to sit in the left over dribbles ! And guys, if you don't want to be responsible for putting the seat back down for the lovely ladies in your house, then you clean the toilets! And why should we have to spend an hour cleaning the living room just for you to walk in five minutes later and dump your crap on the floor? I don't expect that from my kids, and I sure as heck don't expect that kind of stuff from my husband. Houses get messy and I don't mind cleaning (ocd), let us enjoy a clean house for more than five minutes.

Ahhhhhh, I feel better now.

Rush

This IRKS me to no end. I cannot stand it when the toothpaste is squeezed in the middle - it makes me a litle crazy... Must be my female specific OCD (which I don't have) kicking in...

But you know what...my mom squeezes the toothpaste in the middle...??

Clearly its not genetic...

- Carrot

reply to post by hsur2112

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Rush..he's an adult. Big enough to make the mess, big enough to clean it up.
I have taught my sons this right from the beginning.And my daughters of course.
Maybe I have a touch of OCD..who knows?
I clean up after ME, MYSELF and I. That's it.
As soon as my kids are of age to clean up after themselves, they do.
Their own laundry, their own dishes, and take out their own garbage.
So much easier that way.
Does my 5 year old daughter pick up after herself??? Damn straight.
If she put the toys on the floor, why should I pick them up?
I may get flamed for this post, but so be it.
I can be a great wife, and a wonderful mom..but I make a lousy maid.

Great post, AD!

Our house is a "No Nagging Zone". Like you said, if you want something done, ask. Then remind one time. If it doesn't get done, do it yourself. (Only I never thought of those little twists on doing it yourself)

A couple weeks ago, I asked my hubby to trim an especially prickly weed that I always have to avoid on my walk. It's called a "cat's claw" and every bit as dangerous to bare legs and clothes. I reminded him once. Today, on my walk, I decided to go around the area and avoid the weed altogether, thinking that it's not going to hurt me to take a few extra steps...

When I got back in the house, hubby asked me, "Did you notice anything on your walk"? Turns out on the VERY day I had decided to go around it, he had finally gotten to it! Bless his heart.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

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Of course..Men also subscribe to Murphy's law.
The day he cuts it down..you walk around it.
LOL..too funny.

reply to post by AccessDenied

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very well said!

if my son needs a hug i am here
if he needs somebody to clean his room he is the guy doing it

there is so much more in life beside nagging and cleaning the mess of others
my nerves say thank you stopping nagging around and my life is so much more peaceful

A little handywork, and one less thing to nag about, ladies:

reply to post by ziggystar60

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OMG! I love it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah......
This thread is about the fact that I was expecting a nagging. I smoke in the car. I don't smoke at work, nor at home. For whatever reason I smoke when I drive. I do however enjoy a fine cigar at times while amongst friends.
Anyway, the other day I was driving to an event and was talking to my squeeze, (AD). I was forthright and told her I was getting ready to light a smoke, and braced for an assault. I know she hates when I smoke.
She too was honest and told me she didn't like it, and that was it. HONESTY people. HONESTY. It's what it's all about.
I do my own laundry. I never EVER leave the seat up, and scrub the toilet after a #2. I'm not a neat freak by any means, but you would never know I was there as I pick up after myself. My Daddy taught me that. I'm FAR, and I mean FAR FAR FAR from perfect, but I know how to treat a lady.
There are women who are nags, and those who are ladies. Find one and never let her go.

reply to post by lombozo

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Ya knows I loves ya anyways.
But you didn't mention the garbage...
A few egg shells and banana peels on the seats of that new car...
J/K

reply to post by AccessDenied

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Nope. No Egg shells, or bananna peels. Empty Diet Pepsi bottles though........
Oh, and yes, I take out the garbage.

[edit on 9-10-2008 by lombozo]

You are a dream. Except for the diet Pepsi.
Gimme a Coke, please.

Me too girl! And that other stuff....that starts with a P and ends with an I, yuck! And why doesn't my husband understand that a fountain coke is way better than a can or bottle?

And to clarify. I would just rather do things myself where my hubby is concerned, some things aren't worth the argument and he'll never change, but the kids...that's a different story. They do pretty well picking up after themselves. My daughter's job is the dishes, her room and bathroom, My son's is all the trash, his room and bathroom. My son is really clean, my daughter, not so much. I don't clean her room and as long as she cleans it once a week I'm happy. I only have 5% OCD remaining, but it works for me.

Rush